


we are lovers of heavy weather

by dannybsdadbod



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Polyamory, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:03:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11441463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannybsdadbod/pseuds/dannybsdadbod
Summary: Travis throws his phone to the other side of his bed and groans.The two men he used to fuck are now fucking each other.As if he didn’t feel shitty enough being alone.At least Lawson was happy though, right?





	we are lovers of heavy weather

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taxingme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxingme/gifts).



> first time ever writing this pairing, I super hope you like it!
> 
> title from the song heavy weather by billie marten (highly suggest you listen to it while reading)

Travis finishes his post game interview and gets into his car sighing. They lost. Because of course they did. Not to mention, Travis hasn’t been playing well lately, either. He instinctively clicks his phone and sees:

**Inbox: 3 Unread**

 

**Lawson || 7:04pm**

I miss you

 

**Lawson || 8:31pm**

haven’t heard from you in a while…

 

**Lawson || 10:12pm**

babe?

 

Travis locks his phone and lays his head back onto his headrest, closing his eyes.

He and Lawson aren’t exclusive, as much as he wants them to be.

At the end of the summer, Travis had told Lawson that’s how it had to be. Because he knows it would be better for Lawson that way. The distance is a lot, Travis knows that. He can’t do that to Lawson. So he had made the decision for them to be non exclusive after the summer and before their season in the NHL started.

That doesn’t mean they don’t fuck around anymore, though. Oh, they fuck around. Phone sex is fucking awesome. They just don’t fuck around exclusively.

Travis sometimes needs to make sure that there was space between them, even if he doesn’t want to. He just, doesn’t want Lawson getting too attached. He wants Lawson to be his own person in Arizona. Maybe find someone else. He doesn’t want to be the one to hold him back. Travis loves him too much for that.

His phone dings again when he’s at a red light.

**Lawson || 10:48pm**

at least let me know you weren't eaten by a lion or something?

 

**Travis || 10:49pm**

lions aren’t indigenous to Philadelphia.

 

**Lawson || 10:51pm**

oh shut up.

 

Travis’ phone dings almost immediately again after.

 

**Lawson || 10:52pm**

hi :)

 

Travis sighs.

 

**Travis || 10:53pm**

hi law

 

Okay sue him. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Just. Keeping your space from someone. That’s not how it works! He wishes it were, but it isn’t. So pardon him for not being able to keep his space. He had a rough game, he’s really lonely, and he just. Wants to be with Lawson okay. Let him live.

 

—

 

Lawson puts his phone back into his bag. Well. At least he heard from Travis. That’s a start, he guesses. But it doesn’t make up for the fact that Travis has been ignoring him more and more recently.

Lawson sighs and continues to get himself dressed. He has a game tonight that he needs to focus on. He probably won’t be able to, but he can at least try to, right?

“Hey, Law?” Jakob sits down in the vacant stall next to him.

Lawson looks up from taping his shin pad, “Yeah?”

“You alright?”

He nods. He knows he isn’t but for now, he can lie. Even if it is to his teammate.

“Really? Cause you just put on your pants backwards and continued to get dressed not noticing.”

Lawson looks down at his waistband, “Oh fuck dude, why didn’t you tell me before?!”

Jakob laughs a bit and shrugs, “It was funny.”

“Oh, screw you,” Law starts to untape his shin pads. He already has one completely taped and the second one is half way done. He sighs and rips the tape off.

“Hey,” Jakob’s voice softens. “Seriously, what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” Lawson huffs.

“Mmm,” Jakob nods, “sure sounds like nothing.”

“Jakob,” Lawson’s tone was warning.

“I just don’t want you suffering in silence, you know? Like, if something’s up, you can tell me. I’m your teammate, but I’m also your friend.”

Lawson offers Jake a weak smile, “Yeah, thank you.”

Jakob nods and goes to get up.

Right before he's out of the dressing room, Lawson stops him.

“H-hey, Jake?”

Jake turns around, “Yeah?”

“Maybe... Maybe I could use a friend.”

Jakob smiles at him, “I’m always here.”

Lawson nods and smiles before finishing getting dressed.

 

—

 

**Lawson || 8:03pm**

hey

 

**Travis || 8:05pm**

hey

 

**Lawson || 8:09pm**

how are you?

 

**Travis || 8:11pm**

alright. you?

 

**Lawson || 8:12pm**

same.

 

**Travis || 8:14pm**

tonight?

 

**Lawson || 8:16pm**

yeah. 10 my time?

 

**Travis || 8:20pm**

sounds good.

 

—

 

Back in juniors it was easier for them to fuck around.

They were young and what they had going was easy. Their teams were close, so it wasn’t hard to see one another whenever they wanted. It was just. Fun. It was new, exciting, and they both trusted one another so deeply.

But then Travis got traded.

And they both said they would be okay. That this wasn’t anything exclusive anyway.

But neither of them were okay.

Travis felt like he had lost Lawson. Like it was a breakup, even though they were never really dating. He was also dealing with the fact the team he had been with for almost 3 years, the team he was the captain of, had traded him.

Travis turned to people to cope. He liked not having to stay strong all the time. He liked not being alone.

He’d go out at night and find any girl, or guy, who would want to hook up.

He wasn’t the captain anymore. But he still felt like a captain, even to this brand new team that wasn’t his to be the captain of.

So when Jakob came to him having a hard time, he felt like he hadn’t since he had been traded. Someone wanted him again. Someone needed him again.

Travis helped Jakob through his hard time, struggling with the upcoming draft and not putting up the numbers he was wanting to. He was being incredibly hard on himself, taking everything out on himself and not enough out on the ice.

That’s what Travis told him, anyway.

And that’s when Jake kissed him.

The first time.

Travis pulled back and told him that it couldn’t happen, Jakob was vulnerable and emotional. He nodded and understood.

Two weeks later, Jakob kissed him again.

“I’m not emotional or vulnerable anymore,” he smirked when they pulled away.

Travis smirked back at him, because he wasn’t wrong.

And that’s how he and Jake happened. They helped each other throughout the rest of the season and after they got ousted from the playoffs against the Greyhounds.

 

—

 

“Travis,” Claude bumps into Travis on his way out of the practice facility.

“Yeah?” he tugs his earbud out of his ear to hear Claude.

“Come over to mine tonight. Jake will be there. Schenner and Simmonds may stop by. I think it’d be good for you.”

Travis shrugs, “Thanks, but I think I’m just gonna stay in tonight.”

Claude shakes his head, “No you’re not.”

Travis chuckles and raises his eyebrows, “What?”

“You heard me,” Claude crosses his arms. “As your captain I’m ordering you to come over to my place tonight.”

“C’mon, G…”

Claude cuts him off, “Don’t ‘c’mon, G’, me! You’ve been so off lately. And I’m not making you talk about it or anything. But I think you could use a guys night. I think it could really help.”

Travis nods, “Fine.”

 

—

**Travis || 4:19pm**

hi

**Lawson || 4:22pm**

hey

 

**Travis || 4:25pm**

Claude invited me to his place tonight..

 

**Lawson || 4:27pm**

oh? (;

 

Travis shakes his head and chuckles to himself.

 

**Travis || 4:30pm**

not like that, dude.

 

**Lawson || 4:32pm**

then, like what?

 

**Travis || 4:35pm**

dunno. I’ll let you know, though, I guess.

 

—

 

“I’m just. Tired.”

Claude nods, signaling him to continue.

“I’m tired of being temporary to people. Or… people being temporary in my life? I don’t know,” he waves his hand, “either fucking way. I’m tired of it.”

“Is that what you told Lawson?”

Travis groans.

“I’m gonna take that as a no…”

Travis reaches to the tan pillow on the couch beside him and chucks it at Claude’s head.

Claude laughs and catches it and sneers, “Cute.”

“I told Lawson he was better off.”

“Well, why did you do that?” Claude’s voice is soft.

“Because he is. Everyone is.”

Wayne hands him a glass with a smooth, copper liquid. “Drink.”

“NO!” Claude grabs it from his hand.

“What?” Wayne says, throwing his hands out to the side incredulously.

“He’s underage! And clearly upset.”

“Not underage in his home country,” Jakub Voracek pipes up.

“Didn’t ask you.”

Jakub takes a sip of his drink. “Just saying. Kid could use it.”

Travis nods, “I agree with him.” He makes grabby hands at the glass.

Claude sighs and hands it to him.

 

Two hours and 4 drinks later, Travis is laying on the floor holding Claude’s smallest dog, Charlie, in his arms. He’s crying into Charlie’s soft, curly fur.

 

“AT LEAST CHARLIE LOVES ME.”

“Trav…”

Ryanne walks in and surveys the room. “No.”

“Hi baby,” Claude smiles.

“No,” she puts her hands on her hips.

“No?” He asks.

“He’s strangling my dog!”

Claude puts a hand on her waist, “C’mon, he’s sad. He needs this.”

“He doesn’t need to kill my dog.”

Claude thinks for a second before nodding, “Yeah… it does look like Charlie’s… uncomfortable to say the least.”

Ryanne snorts before walking over to Travis and Charlie.

 

When Charlie sees his mom coming, he starts squirming out of excitement to get to her.

“NO!” He yells and tries to hold onto Charlie tighter.

Ryanne bends down, “Travis, honey, I need you to let go of my dog.”

“B-but he’s all I have left…”

 

Ryanne sighs. She finds the fluffiest pillow in her living room and swaps Charlie for the pillow. Lucky for Charlie, Travis is too drunk to notice or care.

 

Ryanne gives Charlie a kiss on his head before letting him go. He runs as far away from the drunk, crying boy as he can.

 

“I just… I want him.”

“I know,” Claude sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“I just want to be wanted. To be loved,” he mumbles into the pillow. “No one loves me.”

 

—

 

Travis answers his FaceTime call the next morning, quite shirtless, slightly hungover, and with horrid bedhead.

“Wow, you sure are a sight in the morning,” Lawson chirps.

“Shut. Up.”

He puts his hands up in surrender. “Travis, are you just waking up? Dude, it’s like, 9am my time! Are you alright? What did Claude want last night?”

Travis looks around the room he was in. It’s not his. It’s one of Claude and Ryanne’s bedrooms. He squints at the clock across the room. Lawson was right, it’s noon.

“Hello? Earth to Travis?”

Travis snaps back to reality. “Oh. Just. Team bonding shit.”

“Hmm. Fun,” Lawson says with an eyeroll.

Travis nods, “Totally.”

 

—

 

**Lawson || 3:01pm**

hey

**Jake || 3:03pm**

was wondering when I’d hear from you

**Lawson || 3:05pm**

just thought I would take you up on that offer?

**Jake || 3:06pm**

oh, is that so?

**Lawson || 3:07pm**

don’t be a jerk lol

**Lawson || 3:08pm**

just. need a friend

**Jake || 3:10pm**

well then, im your man. ill be there at 9 tonight?

**Lawson || 3:12pm**

sounds good :)

 

—

 

**Travis || 9:50pm**

hi

 

**Lawson || 9:55pm**

hey

**Travis || 9:56pm**

busy tonight?

**Lawson || 9:58pm**

actually, yeah...

 

 

**Travis || 10:00pm**

okay, have fun

 

Travis sighs and looks down at his phone. He knows they’re not exclusive but he can’t help but wonder… is there someone else?

That’s not fair to Lawson for Travis to be thinking that way. He knows it’s not. It doesn’t stop it from stinging a little bit, but he needs to stop this right now. He isn’t Lawson’s boyfriend.

He isn’t Lawson’s boyfriend.

 

—

 

Jakob rings Lawson’s apartment bell at a little after 9. When Lawson opens the door, Jake’s standing there smiling big. “Hi!”

Lawson can’t help it and smiles back, “Hey.”

“Gonna invite me in or what?”

Lawson chuckles, “Are you like, a vampire or some shit? Have to be invited in in order to enter?”

“No,” Jakob rolls his eyes, “Just polite. But after that? Fuck it.”

Jakob pushes past Lawson and into his apartment and Lawson laughs a bit, closing the door.

“I was thinking we could order a pizza?” Lawson offers.

“You’re supposed to be the responsible one here,” Jake raises his eyebrows at Lawson. “I don’t think a pizza is in our nutrition plan.”

“Ah, but, it’s a guys night.”

“You think that the nutritionists will really take that excuse? ‘Why did you stray from your diet and eat an entire pizza?’ ‘Oh, it was a guys night.’ ‘Oh, that’s fine then’,” Jakob deadpans.  

“I didn’t say we were going to eat an entire pizza!”

“Well I’m not gonna just eat part of a pizza, that’s insane.”

Lawson laughs and shakes his head.

He’s surprised by how easily he gets on with Jakob.

 

—

 

“Travis come on.”

Travis groans, “Stop it.”

“You’ve been mopey for like. A month now.”

“Been over a month,” Sean says without looking up from his phone.

Brayden gestures towards Sean, “SEE! EVEN COOTS SEES IT!”

“Fuck off,” he groans. “Let me be broody and sad alone.”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have it on good authority that you go out when you’re sad. So why is this any different?”

“Because I don’t feel like it.”

Brayden sighs, “Okay, well. I feel like it. So. We’re going.”

 

Brayden grabs Travis’ arm and pulls him off the couch, ignoring all of Travis’ protests.

 

“Can you not?”

“No.”

Travis sighs. This is his life now.

 

“C’mon. One night. And then you never have to go out with me ever again.”

Travis raises his eyebrows, “Promise?”

Brayden nudges him, “Fuck off.”

“Gladly! But you won’t let me!”

Brayden rolls his eyes, “You’re so dramatic!”

 

—

 

“See?! Fun!” Brayden shouts over the loud, thumping club music.

Travis twirls his finger in the air, “Mmm, so much fun.”

“You can at least try to look like you’re having a good time!”

Travis shakes his head, “It would be better if I could drink legally.”

 

“Hi,” a petite, blonde girl comes up to him. “Wanna dance?”

Travis sighs, “Sorry. Literally any other time I would. But like. I’m trying to prove a point to my friend. So I’m gonna have to pass.”

The girl shrugs and walks away without looking back.

 

“Dude, why didn’t you go with her? She wanted you!”

He shrugs, “Not about mindless hookups.”

“Since when? That’s literally all you’re about…”

“Since now,” Travis snaps.

 

—

 

Lawson grabs a bag of ice, plugs in his heating pad and curls up on his couch with a cup of tea. Today's practice kicked his fucking ass, he needs sports highlights to help him forget about that. And to forget about the fact he's in love with Travis. And possibly falling in love with Jake as we speak. He puts on SportsCenter when his phone dings.

**Jake || 10:48pm**

hi

**Lawson || 10:51pm**

hey, whats up?

**Jake || 10:53pm**

nothing. wanna hang?

 **Lawson || 10:56pm** **  
** tired. you can come over though?

**Jake || 10:58pm**

be there in 20.

Lawson locks his phone and smiles to himself subconsciously. He likes spending time with Jake. It’s nice. It’s comfortable. It’s easy.

And okay, yeah, maybe he’s hot too. That doesn’t hurt.

 

—

Exactly 20 minutes later, Lawson’s bell rings.

He gets up and opens the door to Jake holding a bag from 7/11.

“Brought snacks!” he smiles.

Lawson laughs a bit and shakes his head. Of course he did.

“That okay?” he asks as he walks into Lawson’s apartment.

“Very,” Lawson smiles.

“Okay, cool.” Jake places them on the counter and starts unpacking. “Do not tell my nutritionist that I’m drinking soda, yeah?”

Lawson mimes sealing his lips.

“You’re the best.” Jake smiles, and Lawson can’t help but smile reflexively back at him.

 

—

 

Jake is sitting close to Lawson on the couch. Like. Very close. Travis close.

Their legs are touching. Lawson can feel his heartbeat in his thigh where it’s brushing against Jake’s.

Halfway through the movie that Lawson didn’t even realize was on, Jake moves even closer. So that Jake is pressed into Lawson’s side. Lawson’s not moving away. It feels… nice.  

Jake cuddles a bit closer, so Lawson wraps his arm around Jakes torso and pulls him closer to him. Jake makes a small pleased sound and hums into his chest.

“Hi,” Lawson says softly.

“Hi,” Jake echoes.

Lawson looks down at the hand on his chest and looks back up into Jake’s eyes.

“I’m giving you time to say no,” he says softly.

“What if I don’t want to?” Lawson breathes out.

Jake closes the last of the space between them and presses their lips together.

It’s not the same as kissing Travis. It’s more rough, more uncertain, but so, so intoxicating.

When Jake pulls back, Lawson studies his face. His pupils are blown, his mouth parted slightly, his lips curled at the tips.

Lawson smiles at him before wrapping his hand behind Jake’s neck and pulling him back in.

The second kiss makes Lawson’s head swim. His other hand drifts to hold Jake’s waist steady. He presses harder against Jake while pulling Jake into him by the hand on his neck.

He feels his stomach drop out from under him, butterflies take the shape his stomach used to  hold. The couch they’re laying on doesn’t exist anymore. Travis doesn’t exist anymore. Nothing exists anymore. It’s just the two of them.

Lawson isn’t sure when the movie ends. He isn’t sure when they fall asleep either. But when he wakes up the next morning, Jake is still on top of him and Lawson’s not complaining.

 

—

 

Travis sighs when he sees the incoming call from Claude. Asking him to come over. Again.

No, not asking. Telling.

“What?” Travis sighs.

“Oh, that’s not a good way to greet your captain,” he can hear Claude frowning on the other side of the phone.

“What do you want, Claude?”

“Want you to come over for dinner tonight.”

Travis rubs his temple, “Again?”

“Worried about you, kid.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’d believe that if you weren’t so off your game lately.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re in a slump, Trav…”

“Whatever.” Travis hangs up.

He is in a slump, Claude’s right. He just. Can’t fucking think about that right now.

 

—

 

Travis’ doorbell rings at 7pm, conveniently close to dinnertime, if you ask him.

He opens the door to a smiling ginger and a fluffy dog.

“Surprise!” Claude holds Charlie in front of him and smiles.

Travis rolls his eyes but grabs the dog. “Hi Charlie!” He coos at the dog and kisses his head as he walks him further into his apartment.

Claude follows him in and shuts the door.

“Oh, you’re here too?”

“Cute,” Claude sneers. “Wanna order food?”

“No.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Claude flops onto the couch.

Travis looks at Charlie and talks to him in total puppy-voice, “Your dad is a little shit, isn’t he?”

Claude smiles, “That’s me!”

Travis sighs, “Fine. But _only_ because Haks killed me in practice and I’m hungry.”

“Victory,” Claude pumps his fist into the air before pulling up an online menu.

“Only,” Travis stops. “If you’re paying.”

“Less victory!”

Travis shakes his head and continues playing with Charlie.

 

—

 

“So, what is this?” Lawson’s buttoning his pants. This is the third time he and Jakob have met like this.

Jakob shrugs, still laying down. “What do you want it to be?”

“Um.. I kinda just got out of something… not that long ago…”

Jakob nods, “We don’t need to label this now. Or at all.”

“I feel like that isn’t fair to you.”

Jakob shrugs, “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

Jakob nods and smiles at Lawson and just that gesture puts Lawson at ease immediately.

 

—

 

Travis collapses into his stall and sighs. He can feel tears prickling in his eyes, so he shuts his eyes tight.

A hand on his thigh makes him jump.

“Sorry,” Claude says softly. “Sorry just. Wanted to make sure you’re okay…”

He throws his hands out to his sides, exasperated, “Do I look fucking okay?!”

Claude rubs Travis’ thigh, “It’ll be okay. It’s one game.”

“It’s more than one game!” Travis says, ripping off his jersey. “It’s my fucking life. I’m nothing more than a fuck up.”

“That’s not true,” Claude’s voice softens. “Travis, c’mon, you can’t really think that.”

“How am I supposed to not think that?!” He shakes his head and laughs bitterly, “Lawson isn’t fucking talking to me anymore. I can’t score to save my life. I may as well get sent back to Sarnia.”

“Don’t say that,” Claude says sternly.

“It’s not like I’m anything but temporary to anyone in my life. I’m temporary to the team I was a fucking captain of. Temporary to the man I loved. Temporary to all those fucking hookups. Why wouldn’t I also be temporary to this NHL team that seems to not even want me?”

Claude hugs Travis.

Travis tries to struggle out of it, move away from him, but Claude has a death grip on him.

“You aren’t fucking temporary here. You aren’t temporary to us. To me. You’re my rookie, you little fucking shit.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

Claude nods, “I know. I just wanted to remind you.”

 

—

 

Jake’s the one who brings up the idea of being exclusive.

“Really?” Lawson tries to keep a straight face.

“I-if that’s what you want, of course.”

Lawson smiles and nods, “I...I’d really like that.”

“You would,” Jake says slowly.

“I would,” Lawson pulls Jake into a kiss.

When they pull away, there’s a slight hint of blush on Jake’s cheeks, “Okay...cool.”

“Cool,” Lawson echoes and kisses him again.

 

—

 

Travis has been spending more nights at Claude and Ryanne’s than his own home lately.

They gave him their guest room, but he’s taken to sleeping on the couch instead. It feels more...fitting. Couch sleeping is a temporary arrangement, just like him.

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” Ryanne asks from the kitchen.

“What?” Travis looks up from playing with Harvey and Charlie.

Ryanne smiles at him, “Just asked what you want for dinner.”

“Oh. I...Why wouldn’t you ask Claude instead?”

“You’re just as much apart of this family as Claude is.”

Travis shakes his head, “Um. Sorry… I… Whatever,” he smiles small and tight at Ryanne.

She nods, “Whatever it is.”

 

—

 

Lawson snuggles into Jake’s chest, sighing.

“Hi, babe,” Jake smiles and kisses his forehead.

“Hi,” Lawson smiles sleepily.

“Tired?”

He nods and hums.

“Do you wanna talk about something?”

Lawson rolls his eyes, but smiles, “How can you read me so well? Am I that obvious?”

“Just to me,” Jake kisses his forehead again. “You can talk to me.”

“I just. I’ve only ever been with one other guy before.”

Jake smiles soft at him and rubs his back, “Really?”

Lawson groans, “Don’t pity me.”

“I’m not pitying!” Jake smiles a bit bigger, “Just. Same.”

Lawson furrows his brow, “Really?”

“Is that so surprising?” Jake chuckles.

“No! I mean. Kind of. You’re so… _you_.”

“And you’re you,” Jake smirks.

“Fuck off, you know what I mean.”

“So…” Jake wiggles his eyebrows. “Who’s the lucky man?”

“Travis…” Lawson says low.

Jake stares at him for a second before a smile cracks out on his lips, “Same.”

Great.

 

—

 

Travis gets the text at 10am his time.

**Jake || 10:04am**

I just wanted to let you know what’s going on. just, think it’s fair to you… lawson and I have been dating for a while now. we just decided to be exclusive last night. so yeah. just thought you should know.

Travis throws his phone to the other side of his bed and groans.

The two men he used to fuck are now fucking each other.

As if he didn’t feel shitty enough being alone.

At least Lawson was happy though, right?

 

—

 

“You fucked Jake?!”

“Hello to you too,” Travis rolls his eyes.

“Cute,” he sneers. “Why didn’t you tell me you fucked Jakob?!”

Travis shakes his head a bit, “I didn’t tell you every girl I fucked. Why did I need to tell you the guys? And if we’re being technical here, Jake fucked me.”

“Fuck off. This is different. This is Jake,” Lawson’s face is so serious.

“Yeah, Jake. My old teammate.”

“My current teammate!” Lawson is clearly distraught by this.

Then it clicks for Travis.

“Oooohhh my god. OH MY GOD! You’re fucking Jake!”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You, Lawson Crouse, are fucking Jakob Chychrun.”

Lawson doesn’t respond.

“Damn Law, I can’t say I’m not impressed.”

“I never said I was fucking him.”

“Okay, he’s fucking you, whatever.”

“Travis!”

“What?!”

He shrugs before quietly replying, “yeah.”

“Are you okay?” Travis asks softly.

“I guess…” Lawson shrugs. “He’s no Travis.”

Travis laughs, “Yeah, hard to find another me, eh?” He winks at Law through his camera.

“I um… we were talking earlier. We both have only ever been with one other guy…”

“Oh shit, that’s me!”

Lawson rolls his eyes, “Nothing gets by you, Trav.”

 

—

 

Claude hands Travis a cup of coffee from across his island.

“I thought this was what you wanted for Lawson?”

Travis sighs, “It is! It… it was.”

“Was,” Claude repeats.

Travis nods and takes a sip of his coffee to avoid explaining.

Claude raises his eyebrows, “I’m waiting.”

Travis places his cup down. “I love him.”

Claude nods.

“I… I love him,” he repeats, slower.

“It’s okay that you do.”

He shakes his head, “It’s clearly not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t love someone who’s in a relationship!”

“Well you can, but it’s just gonna be shitty.”

Travis rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Wow, thank you, Captain Claude. So helpful,” he deadpans.

“Travis, it’s going to be okay.”

“How is _this_ okay?!” He lays his head down on the counter, hard.

“Please don’t re-concuss yourself.”

Travis shoots Claude the best evil-eye he can manage. “Claude, be nice. I’m in paaaaaain,” he whines.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

Travis takes another sip of his coffee before speaking low, “I told him I was happy for him.”

“Oh Trav…”

“I know,” Travis sighs.

 

—

 

“So,” Lawson says quietly. He’s laying in bed, naked, facing Jake, running his fingers through Jake’s hair.

“Mmm?” Jake hums, looking softly into Lawson’s eyes.

“I was thinking.”

Jake smirks, “that’s new.”

Lawson smiles fondly at him before pulling his hair slightly. Jake gasps and closes his eyes before looking at Lawson again.

“Fine. What were you thinking about?” Jake smiles and rubs his hand on Lawson’s chest.

“Um.. y’know what?” Lawson sits up and moves so he’s sitting half off the bed. “Nevermind.”

Jake sits up and wraps his arms around Lawson’s torso, “Hey, no no no, wait. What’s going on?”

Lawson sighs as Jake presses kisses into his back.

Jake’s the first to speak, “Cmon, it’s me.”

Lawson nods, "I know it’s you. But like," he shrugs.

"But what?"

“But this isn’t just. Something I can say.”

Jake nods and runs his hands along Lawson’s sides.

"Um.. I don't think I'm really... O-over Travis.."

Jake stops, “oh.”

Lawson sighs and shakes his head, “that’s not really what I meant to say.”

“Really?” Jake chuckles bitterly, “then please, tell me, what did you mean.”

“I meant like… I think… I’m not over him but I’m not… I still love you.”

Jake blinks at him, “Love?”

Lawson puts his head in his hands and groans. “I’m just fucking up all over the place today, eh?”

Jake moves so he’s standing in front of Lawson. He gently coaxes Lawson’s hands away from his face and speaks soft, “hey, look at me.”

Lawson slowly looks up at Jake.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t.”

Jake shrugs, “But it will be.”

Lawson sighs, “How?”

“‘Cause I love you too…” Jake says soft and gently.

“Y-you do?”

The corner of Jake’s mouth turns up and he nods.

“Even after I said…”

Jake nods before Lawson even finishes his sentence.

 

—

 

“No.”

“Just hear me out.”

“No,” Travis is more stern.

“Why not?”

“Cause I’m not okay with you calling me on behalf of your boyfriend, my ex-whatever,” he waves his hand in the air at that. “And I’m definitely not okay with you calling me after whatever we used to be. Just to get.. What? Tips? On how to fuck each other better?”

Jake sighs, “if you would just listen to me, then you would know that’s not what I’m asking!”

“Then what is it?”

“Lawson isn’t over you.”

Travis stops, “don’t fucking mess with me, Jakob.”

“I’m not,” he says soft.

“I can’t… I can’t deal with this,” he sighs. “I’m in a slump. Haks is benching me every other penalty…”

“Have you tried… not getting penalties?”

“Goodbye, Jakob.”

“Travis, wait!”

“What.” Travis spits.

“Lawson’s really fucked up about this…”

Travis shakes his head, “I don’t need to hear this shit! You’re his boyfriend now. You can fucking deal with him.”

“Travis, stop it.”

“No, Jake,” Travis slams his free hand onto his counter and articulates his words clearly. “You stop it. You have no idea what it’s been like here in Philly. Alone. While the two men I… fuck, I loved are across the country loving one another without me. So just fucking. Stop it.”

“He wants you back.”

Travis tears up and shakes his head.

“But he doesn’t want to give me up… we love each other.”

Tears fall.

“So we were thinking… if you were up to it… maybe we… all date?”

He shakes his head, “This is a cruel fucking joke, Jakob.”

“It isn’t a joke.”

“H-how…”

“We can discuss this over skype, the three of us, yeah? Law was just… too afraid to tell you himself…”

Travis nods. “Fine.”

“Really?”

“I’m not saying yes to this. But I’m willing to listen. To consider it.”

“That’s all we’re asking.”

 

—

 

Travis is anxious the entire day leading up to the skype call. He has no clue what to expect. Or what he’s going to say. Maybe he’ll get lucky and just have to listen, not say anything.

The Skype ringtone makes him jump. This is it.

He take a deep breath and answers the call.

“Hi,” Lawson smiles.

Travis forces a smile, “Hi.”

“Hi!” Jake pipes up.

Travis rolls his eyes, “Hi Jake.”

Jake squeezes Lawson’s hand on the other side of the screen, “It’s okay. Take your time.”

Travis feels uncomfortable. Feels like an intruder.

“Travis,” Lawson sighs. “I… I love you.”

Travis’ eyes widen. “Oh.”

“And I love Jake.”

He nods.

“And like…” He’s speaking slowly, letting the words come, “I was thinking maybe I could love you…both.”

Travis holds his tongue, makes sure he doesn’t shut Lawson down right away. So he nods and stays quiet.

“I know it would be difficult…” Lawson continues, “But I think. I think I’d really love that. To love both of you. We could figure it out and make it work…”

Travis nods a bit and looks at Jake, who’s holding Lawson tight around his side.

“I’m okay with this, for um. For what it’s worth,” Jake smiles at Travis before turning and smiling at Lawson.

“I… um. Think it would be really good for us to have like. Skype calls and stuff a lot. And we can text and call all the time…”

Travis’ head is swimming. He doesn’t know what to say. He wants them. Both of them. That’s…Fuck that’s all he wants.

“It would be a lot more than just. Skype calls and texts. It’s a relationship…” Travis finally speaks.

“We know that. But like, we also know that it…” Jake’s speaking now, “That we _we_ could make it work.”

Travis nods.

He watches Lawson’s eyes fill with tears on the other side of the screen, and his heart breaks.

“Oh, Lawson…”

“This is stupid. I should’ve never fucking suggested this. It’s stupid.”

“Hey, wait!” Travis reaches his arm out before remembering, he can’t actually touch Lawson. “Lawson, love, don’t cry.”

Lawson’s head looks up slowly when he hears Travis call him ‘love’.

“I want this. I want this with you. With both of you.”

“You do?” Lawson’s voice cracks.

Travis nods and smiles at them. “I do.”

“Promise?”

Travis smile deepens, “I promise.”

 

—

 

It’s been about two weeks of dating each other. And Travis is… well he is happy. It’s hard, time zones fucking suck. But he has the two men that he loves. And that’s what he has to keep reminding himself.

He’s half asleep when he hears hears the FaceTime call come through.

He groans, rolls over, and answers it.

“Hi, baby!” Jake smiles at him through the screen.

“Hi,” Travis smiles sleepily.

“Aw, love did we wake you?” Lawson’s voice is concerned.

“No,” Travis shakes his head. “But I was in the process of falling asleep.”

“You’re so cute,” Jake blurts out.

Travis giggles, “What?”

“You’re cute,” Jake repeats, simply.

He smiles big, “ _You’re_ cute.”

Jake shakes his head and wrinkles his nose.

“You are,” Lawson leans into Jake’s side. “Trav has a point.”

Jake giggles and kisses him.

Travis feels a twinge in his chest, jealousy maybe? That he isn’t there. But it’s okay. He still has his boys.

“I love you. Both of you. So much,” Travis says so earnestly, so genuinely.

“I love you too,” Jake smiles.

“I love you!” Lawson says louder, trying to one up Jake.

Travis shakes his head and smiles. His boys.

 

—

 

“No fair,” Travis yawns, staring into his camera at his boys. “Time zones are fucking dumb. Ruining my love life,” he scoffs.

Lawson giggles, tightening his arms around Jake, “I know, baby. I know.”

“You go on this rant almost every night,” Jake rolls his eyes.

“Well do you blame me?!”

He hears laughter through his webcam.

“Guuuuuys,” he whines.

“Traaaaavis,” Jake echoes, making Lawson laugh.

Travis pouts, “Mean.”

“Wish I could kiss your pout away, baby,” Lawson says, a little quiet. It makes Travis’ stomach flip.

“Me too,” Travis says with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Jake moves a bit so Travis can see him clearer on his screen. “No,” his voice is so gentle. “No, baby. None of that…”

“Sorry,” Travis nods. “Sorry, I know.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Lawson smiles at him, “We know it’s hard.”

“You don’t know though,” Travis mumbles.

Lawson nods, “You’re right…”

“It’s fine. Sorry.”

“Trav, baby…”

“I’m tired.”

“Stay on the line?” Jake asks in a soft, pleading tone.

Travis shakes his head, “Have an early practice. And Haks has been really grinding into me lately. So I need my rest.”

“Okay,” Lawson puts his hand on Jake’s chest to stop him from speaking. “It’s okay, baby. We love you.”

“Love you too,” Travis says, half smiling before he ends the call.

 

—

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jake says under his breath. They’re sitting on a plane that’s about to take off. They can’t really go back at this point anyway.

“Trust me. I know him. He’s getting all… introspective and down on himself. He needs this. He needs the reassurance that we love him like he loves us.”

Jake nods. “I just, don’t want him getting mad or upset.”

Lawson grabs Jake’s hand between them, “Don’t worry. He won’t be.”

 

—

 

“What?” Travis is smiling so big. He repeats, “What?”

“What?” Lawson says, furrowing his brow, feigning confusion.

“What the hell are you guys doing here?!” He smiles so big and hugs them together.

Lawson kisses him, “Thought our man would wanna see us.”

Jake wraps his arm around Travis from behind and nuzzles his neck, “Mmm, missed you Trav. You smell so good.”

Travis giggles, purely delighted. “What do I smell like?”

“Travis.”

They all laugh before Jake speaks again.

“Home.”

Travis turns around in Jake’s arms and kisses him so soft, yet so deep.

“God… my boys,” he reaches for Lawson’s hand.

“We thought you could use a visit,” Lawson mumbles.

Travis smiles and tears up, “My boys.”

 

—

 

They spend all day in bed. Not even sex. Well. Some sex. But not all sex. Mostly talking.

Lawson and Jake lay with Travis in the middle of them. Their long limbs eclipsing his shorter ones. Wrapping him in their arms. Making him feel safe. Grounded. Loved.

Lawson and Jake reassure him that he’s okay, that they love him.

“You guys know me so well,” he mumbles. “That’s… this… this is exactly what I needed to hear.”

Jake smiles and kisses Travis’ cheek, “Yeah, we had a feeling it was like that.”

“I…” he shakes his head and tears fall.

“Oh,” Lawson says so gently and reaches to wipe his tear away. “Baby, oh, my love, why are you crying?”

“Just… I haven’t felt like this in a very long time.”

“Like what?” Jake asks.

“Like this. Happy. Loved.”

Lawson lays his forehead to Travis’, “Oh, Trav…”

“I’ve felt alone for the past 2 years. Like… a stray dog. No real place that I belonged… but with you guys I… I feel like I have a purpose. A place on this Earth.”

“You do,” Jake says, rubbing his arm.

Travis looks at Jake and smiles soft, “I know.”

This is his life now.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to ang, @dreaminstarlight, for betaing, staying up till all hours of the night talking the fic through with me, and most of all being my biggest cheerleader on this.


End file.
